I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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