I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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