fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
