I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Randomize
