oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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