Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
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