my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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