Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
