There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
