Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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