i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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