As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
