I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
