i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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