i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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