hotel room ftw
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
