Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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