Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
