all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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