Screwed.edu
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
So vagazzling was a success
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
