After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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