Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Randomize
