ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
