we're blogging at a bar
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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