Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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