the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Randomize
