it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
