the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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