I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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