I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
