he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
