Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
