Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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