Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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