he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
