Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize
