You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
