She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
