ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
