I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
