I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I'm at about main and main street
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I want a musical about memes.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
