just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
