coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
