I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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