Umm I'm too high to move.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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