I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
