She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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