last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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