i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
