He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize
